what's in my bag? it ain't pretty

I love those "what's in her bag" stories that fashion magazines do. It makes celebrities seem so normal (they have to carry around heavy bags filled with stuff too!). But sometimes I wonder how realistic those features are. Those celebs always have cool things in their handbag like designer sunglasses, Christian Dior lip glosses, pamphlets for charity work and at least two gluten-free snacks.

So I thought it would be a good idea to show what really goes on in a handbag. The unedited realness of what these portable wonders really carry.

This is what was in my handbag last night (prepare yourself... okay, go!):

photo 2-10

As they do in the magazines, here's a list of what's in my bag (just in case you want to learn where you can go buy some of the things I carry... like that stack of napkins). I will start with the Dentyne Ice and attempt to move in a somewhat logical fashion from there:

1. Dentyne Ice - Notice, it's a double pack with 16 pieces... because that's just how I roll.

2. Lone napkin - This one has gone rogue and separated from the stack of napkins to the far left (#21).

3. Hair clip - There's nothing like beige plaid and diamonds to complete a hairdo.

4. Two blue sticky notes that are so worn out they now resemble more napkins.

5. A very small Sephora bag - That's the most dreaded size of all the Sephora bags. You can't really reuse a bag that small, unless you want to carry around a very tiny lunch.

6. Butter London nail polish in Big Smoke - I bought this circa 2010 and have used it about three times.

7. My battered gym lock sitting on an old receipt... oh you guys! So happy together.

8. L'Occitane hand cream - okay, this is sorta celebrity-ish. I'm trying this one out because I love anything that smells like almond extract.

9. A book to read for my new job (a hardcover books makes me feel so fancy and 2002).

10. My computer battery - Nothing very exciting to say here. Except, I'd like to thank it for being so power-full... hehee.

11. Baby Lips - I love this stuff, mostly because it smells just like Fruit Loops. And the bold colors on the outside remind me of a spray-painted wall.

12. Wallet - A gift my friend brought back from Costa Rica. Oh look! There's a fro-yo rewards card sticking out of it... get back in there you goof!

13. A generic pen with no unique features. These are the best kinds of pens because you can't get too emotionally attached to them. They fade in and out of your life like a CIA agent.

14. Ice Breakers - This fruit punch flavor is amazing. I would've finished the container already except I forgot it was in my bag. What a fool I've been all this time!

15. A Krackel candy wrapper... nothing to see here, folks. I can neither confirm nor deny the allegations that I ate a miniature Krackel.

16. Now, I'm not really sure what this is. It looks like the plastic from a band-aid. But I really have no idea. I know I peeled it from something... but what?

17. A self-drawn map to help me navigate the mean streets of midtown! Again on a blue sticky note... I really gotta switch my notes up.

18. My keys - Showing love for CVS and Duane Reade (although DR is obviously my favorite, that's why I keep the CVS tag on top of it to protect it from dust and random fuzzes).

19. Four pieces of bread in a plastic bag... that's something you won't get to see in a magazine. Although I'm pretty sure all the celebs carry that around too.

20. Hair product - That's what came in the Sephora bag. Oooh it's all starting to come together! Was the map leading to a Sephora store? Sadly, no.

21. A stack of napkins - You know, just in case I fall into a puddle of Mr. Softee soft serve (which is very likely in NYC).

22. Beautiful flower earrings from Forever 21. A gal can never be without sparkles for her ears, which are really like the window shutters of the face.

23. A metro card and, hiding behind it, a business card from a massage therapist.

24. Passport - Yes, it's true. I am a citizen, even if my eyebrows say otherwise.

25. My work ID badge - Never has my head looked more jelly bean-shaped.

26. My computer - I'm typing on it right at this moment (crazy, I know!).

And, of course, I must give a shout out to my trusty, brick red Longchamp bag. Thank you for always braving the elements (even when my shoes and hairdo can't), for brushing up against so many sweaty people on the subway without complaint and for holding all those napkins with such grace. You've been with me since Christmas 2011 and I love you like a great aunt.

I would like to make this hard-hitting handbag feature a regular part of this blog, so America can finally know the truth. If you would like to showcase your handbag, duffel bag or fannypack here, please let me know!