ahh, to live downtown in a perfume ad

There's been some hubbub about this Rooney Mara video for the new Calvin Klein perfume "Downtown." [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=_0JMFIVzo9c]

Now, I don't usually comment on celebrity stuff. Well, that's not entirely true. In everyday conversations, I talk about celebrities like we're old friends who studied the art of accents together in middle school. I just don't want those musings documented anywhere in case one day I marry Scott Speedman and then people are like, "You texted me in 2011 and said Scotty Speedman was losing his touch in season 4 of Felicity! And that you would totally go to Berlin with Noel, instead of taking a road trip with Ben." (Rest assured readers, I would always choose to go with Ben!)

But this video is so funny. Rooney Mara looks lovely - a modern day Audrey Hepburn one might say! - but her emotions are so up and down. One minute she looks like she is struggling to digest some bad street meat, and the next she is laughing up a storm and petting a puppy.

As a downtown gal, none of this really says downtown NYC to me... I mean I assume they're referencing NYC and not Downtown Disney in Orlando. First, when it starts to rain like it does in the video, New Yorkers rush to Duane Reade to buy an Apt. 5 umbrella. And we certainly don't look that anxious riding the subway - she looks like she's about to pass out from the fear of holding onto the pole. Now, I've been there (that terrible feeling when you reach out to grab the pole and it's already warm from the previous person's hand... ewww). But it's nothing a little hand sanitizer can't fix.

I also have to wonder, why is she at the 34th street subway stop? I feel like downtown dwellers don't really visit midtown unless it's for work, a doctor appointment or to visit the Times Square Forever 21 (arguably the best one in the city and possibly the world). Anything above Union Square always feels like Columbia University territory.

But Adweek sums it up best I think: "How does downtown usually smell? In my experience, it stinks."

They're right. We may have polite Band-Aids, but our scent is of 3-day old garbage on a hot day.