'Twas the night before I turned 30...

'Twas the night before my 30th birthday, when all through the tiny flex 2-bedroom apartment, not a creature was stirring... except maybe a mouse that lurks in the dark shadows only to emerge when we go to bed. The curtains were hung by the window with care, in hopes that no creepy neighbors would be able to stare.

WIth my sister away on a last minute gift adventure and I in my sweat shorts, I had just settled in to a pre-birthday stupor.

When over on my computer arose such a clatter. I sprang from the couch to see what was the matter. Oh just Hannah on Pretty LIttle Liars!

Away to the kitchen for a peanut butter snack,

No bread, no crackers, just PB ATTACK!!

I thought back through the decade, my it has passed quick,

Just yesterday I was an awkward 20-year-old saying "that's sick!" (no, just kidding! I would never use "sick" in that way).

More rapid than a case of hypothermia, the memories came,

I whistled and shouted and called the years by name:

"On 21! On 22! On 23! On 24! 25 and… phew, this is exhausting! I’m not as young as I used to be and my hip is acting up. I’ll just skip ahead. On 29 too! My, it's been a ball!

Now dash away, 20's! Dash away all!"

As sad as old Weight Watchers bread that's been left on the counter to dry,

I put my hands in the air and asked the good Lord, "Why?!"

"Why me, God, why?! Why take my youth? Noooo!!! My eyebrows won't survive another decade! I'm too young for a unibrow!"

And my shoulders shook like a bowl full of jelly,

As Pretty Little Liars continued on the telly... Sorry, I know that's weird and British. How about: My eyes as wet as a pair of British Welly(s).

Then with a wink of my eye and toss of my head,

I knew I had nothing to dread.

If the 20's were like a very special episode of Growing Pains,

Then, come 30, I'll seize the reins! (of what I'm not sure... one of those Central Park carriages? That might be nice...).

Then I danced around the apartment, singing in utter delight…

"Farewell, dear ole' awkward 20's. It's been, well, aight!"