a modeling gig for my nails

With fall around the corner, I had the sudden urge to paint my nails black. "This is gonna look so fierce and edgy," I thought. "Yeah! That will show them!" Show who I'm not really sure. So I got out my bottle of Union Jack Black by Butter London and painted my nails oh-so-black. The problem was, they came out a little too fierce, shall we say. Instead of looking all fashionable and glam, they looked somewhat scary and a little bit sad. Not "cool sad" like "I'm so sad I'm gonna write a groundbreaking novel" but sad-sad like "I need to get not one, but two double chocolate brownies from Starbucks on a Wednesday and eat them behind this flock of pigeons..."

I got to work on Monday and I was kinda nervous people would be freaked out by my manicure, so I sorta hid them at my first meeting. I finally understood what it was like for those goth children in high school, hiding their black manicures under their binders. It's no way to live! I had planned to paint my nails this weekend but, alas, it never happened. So I will continue to alarm my co-workers, Starbucks employees and the general public for another week.

Take a look at those rebellious nails in action... here are some candid photos featuring the modeling skills of my left hand:

Starbucks getting my name wrong once again. Except this time, "Diayana" sorta fits the manicure, so I can't really blame them. They were probably too scared to spell!

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A lovely, preppy gift from a friend... but then my mani comes along and sullies the good Tory Burch name!

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Another lovely new addition to my wardrobe... until my nails pipe in. Here I think they're trying to be sarcastic: "Ohhh look at us with a pretty pink bow!"

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And finally, with a piece of chocolate-covered Turkish Delight. The most heavenly creation in the world! Even my dark and brooding nails can't make this delicacy bitter, though they certainly try to with their chipped-on-the-edges attitude...

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